My Personal Philosophy

            I have always been a bit philosophical. However, awareness of this trait was not always evident. In my growing-up years, my perspective was limited to school, music, friends and moments of pleasure. I lived in the Immediate, not perusing what the future may hold both in the short-term and long-term. This adolescent dynamic stayed with me well into my 20’s and 30’s.

            Now that I am moving well into my 60’s, this tendency to live in the Immediate is slowly but progressively dissipating. Each year that passes brings forth more dissipation of the Immediate. In time, sooner I think than later, this behavioural pattern will all but disappear leaving me in a perpetual state of reflection.

             Philosophically speaking, life is a collection, a collage, a paradigm of shifting values and attitudes. In my early adult years, what I thought and the actions that resulted from these thoughts could be labelled transitory, vaporous, filling time and space but producing nothing of real value. In moments of reflection, I would look back at what had come to pass and just sigh, 'What If'? Even after a major life event had spent its fury on my frail psyche, I would continue on in this venue of immediacy and await another event to approach me.

             As a result of this two steps forward and one step back journey, I have come slowly to realize that I must choose wisely the path I take in any given situation. Decisions have to be made not in haste but with careful thought as to the consequences they may bring forth. Likewise, now that I am married and living out my latter years in a distant land that has a distinct culture all its own, actions must be taken that reflect the input of my wife, a German lass that is both wise and decisive in her own right. We choose together and live out the consequences, both positive and negative, of these choices. It is a daunting task but a necessary one.

             To further elaborate, I, as a Christian of some 33 years (initial point of spiritual regeneration occurring in February of 1977) have formulated what I believe and how I act from a myriad of sources, both secular and sacred. This process, this paradigm, has mutated in countless ways as the hands-of-time have inched their way across my life’s page. I cannot even begin to put this process into words, but what I am now singularly and collectively is not only static but ever changing. There are elements of chaos and elements of normalcy. I shift back-and-forth from the extremes of both the liberal (progressive) polemic to that of the conservative (reactionary) polemic. Middle ground is where I want to be but the internal workings of my psyche see fit to keep me swinging to and fro like some cosmic seesaw. It is fatiguing to say the least, however, it is not debilitating.

             The clock continues to move forward, chiming away in moments of stasis. I cannot stop this but only to observe it. The key here is not to become overwhelmed by the passage of time nor the sense that my days are numbered. I have to make do with the hand I have been dealt, making good use of what time I have, pushing against the winds of change that would knock me to the ground and maintain a sense of expectancy and hope. It is for my benefit and that of my wife’s. There is no turning back to yesteryear, no need to live in the 'What If' mode.

             I have every hope of living a long life, perhaps walking through the door that is open to those that reach the century mark. It is a hope that is shared by my wife, though in more subtle ways.

            Let what has been shared remain, subject to editing on a regular basis. I shall say no more at the moment.

- Finis -